Want to know a secret? You’re not the only one who sometimes feels like you don’t know what you’re doing or have not accomplished enough in life.
We all compare ourselves to others. C’mon, you know you do it–ever scrolled through your Facebook newsfeed and ended up feeling like the world’s greatest underachiever? Everybody seems to have their act together… the great homes, great jobs, great vacations, great families yada, yada, yada…
If you find yourself feeling “less than” or thinking that by your age (whatever it is) you should have accomplished this, that or the other, remember three things:
1. You have your own accomplishments that you just happen to be forgetting at the moment.
2. What you see may look like success to you, but you don’t know what it feels like to them. It’s very possible that THEY are comparing themselves to YOU. 🙂
3. Every one of their accomplishments began with a single decision. As Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” You, too, can take that first step.
Comparison is the death of the soul; trying to live your life through the experience of others deprives you of living your own life to the fullest.
Want to shift your energy back where it belongs? Try this exercise:
Write 100 accomplishments you have made in your life. You can start from learning how to walk and talk (a huge accomplishment, don’t you think?) and then go from there. You don’t have to do this all at once to feel the benefit—in fact it will work better if you make it a practice to remember your accomplishments every day. Start an “Accomplishment Journal”–take a few minutes before you go to sleep to write about something you have accomplished. (Today’s entry for me – “I wrote a blog!”) You will be surprised at all the things you have done in your life and how good acknowledging it makes you feel!
If you’re the type of person who always looks in the direction of what you haven’t done, this could be an extremely beneficial exercise for you. Anything that shifts your focus from “what you haven’t done” (negative energy) to “what you have done” ( positive energy) raises your spirit.
When you allow yourself to shift to a place of feeling accomplished, you develop more confidence to make choices which lead to more exciting and satisfying experiences in your life. It feels good and turns on the body’s self repair system which produces healthy hormones! (In other words, it’s good for your health!)
And with that confidence comes more self-compassion for the moments when you just don’t feel like you “have it together.” No one does all the time.
When I was a student at The Whitewinds Institute learning how to be a healer, my teacher once asked me what I did when I got stuck… I smiled and said, “I pause and say to myself – W.W.F.D. – What would Fernand (my teacher) do?” He laughed and said, “Change the F to a M – W.W.M.D.” (What would Mindy do?!) It was some of the best advice I ever got.
We can only really accomplish what we want if we stop trying to be someone else and ask “W.W.(fill in your name).D.”
Remember–we are all just figuring it out as we go!
Mindy, this resonates with me so much. I have compared myself to others for most of my life. Always feeling that their accomplishments were so much more valuable than mine. I remember talking with you about this in one of our first sessions and you said Comparison is the death of the soul. That really stuck with me.
That one statement has helped me begin to look at my life in a completely different way.
Thank you for helping me on the road to self discovery and recognition of self worth. What a difference a few words can make.
As always, your words speak to my soul.
With love,
Liz
Your soul speaks to my heart. Thank you Liz. Your accomplishments Continue to inspire me. It’s a joy to figure this all out with you.
Thank you, I needed to hear this. I’ve been doing a gratitude notecard before bed and I think adding an accomplishment for the day would be a great thing to add.
Love that idea Kendra. Let me know how it goes. Even on ‘the bad days’ We accomplish more than we think we do. Wishing you joy on your journey.
Very well written, Mindy. Thank you for the encouragement, reminder, and positive reinforcement. It was uplifting to read.
This could be one step/chapter in that book of yours!
I’ll keep visualizing that Rlise.
Great article, Mindy!! You gave me a lot to think about.
can’t wait to hear more.
Love the idea of 100 accomplishments. As I read your comments about fear I can see it is a mirror image of where I am right now. Here I stand in the absolute perfect moment to shift. Very serendipitous! Thank you!
Would love to hear how it goes for you Sandy. Listen to the whispers.
I’ve been telling everyone I know about my struggles with this right now (except maybe you on our phone calls lol) – social media has me both wanting everything, and not wanting anything in order to become a hermit in the forrest. I’m often overwhelmed by what I want and don’t have to the point that I feel paralyzed to make any decisions, but when I look at what I’ve done and how I keep moving forward, I’m pretty impressed. I loved reading the ways to remind yourself that you’re human doing your best human self – a huge accomplishment!! Thanks for this blog post. It’s coming in unison with a self compassion article I just read that has me really giving myself some deep understanding and love!
The Univwrse has your back Erin. What
an accomplishment to see that. Big hugs.
I needed this. Thanks